Getting divorced is one of the most challenging, painful, and life-altering experiences you will ever have. However, divorce is not the end of you. In fact, it’s a chance to start over and create an exciting new beginning.
With the ideal divorce coach, you can get help with your divorce and turn your pain into purpose and create the best life possible.
Don’t try it alone.
You may have friends or family you can talk with. However, its rare they can provide the skills and leadership to help you improve your life. A good attorney will guide you through the legal process. But, they seldom provide the emotional support, guidance, and inspiration needed for you to get your life back on track and into the best shape possible.
A divorce coach can help you bridge the gap from where you are today to where you want to be. They will work with you to move out of the past and create a concise plan to help you build a purposeful and extraordinary future.
A good coach understands each phase of divorce and can help with your divorce by providing guidance throughout the entire process. Additionally, they can recommend a variety of legal and financial resources to help when needed.
I recently met with Karen McMahon, a relationship and divorce coach. Karen is also the founder of the website and coaching business Journey Beyond Divorce. We discussed how she and her team of coaches can help with divorce before, during, and after.
What does a divorce coach do?
There are numerous emotional phases you go through over the course of a divorce. Karen emphasized the importance of figuring out what your participation was in both the dissolution of your marriage and the tension of your divorce and without dwelling on the past. Once you know the part you played, and use that for the fuel for self-improvement, “you will be better off regardless of where you end up.”
Everyone is different and has their own fears. Your coach will partner with you to build a personalized, goal-oriented plan that combines practical guidance and exercises to help strengthen you mentally and emotionally.
Your role is to fully engage during each coaching session, and do the exercises afterwards. An exercise may be as simple as reading an article or tuning in to a podcast.
Your progress is regularly measured against your goals and expected results. Your personalized plan is designed to move you into action, speed up your progress, and empower you to create a fulfilling life.
When should you engage a coach?
Most of Karen’s clients find coaching helpful when they are “stuck in the past and want to move forward.” Many people reach out when just thinking about getting divorced. Mending marriages is a key part of what Karen and her team focus on. Her ambition is to “lower the divorce rate.”
Does coaching work?
If you do the work, you will emerge stronger, healthier and ultimately create a better life for yourself. When you take baby steps, “you get unstuck very fast… and move forward rapidly. Before you know it, you are miles ahead of where you started.”
You can gain some additional insights from this article from the Huffington Post which outlines 5 reasons why you need a divorce coach.
Which divorce coach is right for you?
Most divorce coaches will offer free consultations.
For example, Karen and her team offer a free consultation that lasts from 60-90 minutes. Afterwards you will receive an email clarifying the key points discussed and next steps for you.
However, before meeting with a prospective coach, do your research to learn what coaching tools and content they created, what their approach is, and how they’ve helped others.
If they consume most of the time telling you what to do versus inquiring about your own personal challenges, beware. A good coach will ask more than they tell. Therefore, you should come prepared knowing your greatest struggles and be open to talking about them.
At the end of your session you should feel acknowledged and not judged. The questions the coach asks should prompt you to want to explore more and get clear on your answers.
After doing your own research and completing your first consultation, you will know if the approach and philosophy of the coach will be beneficial for you.
How much do they charge?
Hourly rates vary and you should expect to pay approximately $100 – $300 per hour based on the coaches’ experience.
Coaches will offer packages lasting 1-6 months or more. Consider the shorter term if you are not convinced that divorce coaching is right for you.
Where can you find a coach?
A divorce coach will help you gain clarity, set goals, and adjust behaviors to bring out the best in you. They can provide help with your divorce and motivate you to take action and accelerate your progress towards creating a fulfilling life.